Title: Cures

Authors: Drusilla Dax (Severus) and Miranda O'Dowd (Harry)

Pairing: HP/SS

Summary: Harry and Severus are working together to find a cure for lycanthropy. Harry's on the moor looking for a flower and Severus is stuck at Hogwarts teaching Potions.

Rating: NC-17

Notes: Thanks to Cybele ­ this story is greatly inspired by her "Correspondence" series. Thanks to Graham Norton for the 'Gay or Eurotrash' idea.

When it came time to write the sex, we decided that it would be interesting to do just the vocalizations of it in order to continue with the theme of them speaking to each other. Dru and I decided to use AIM to make it easier and more like a conversation. There isn't a lot of description during the sex, so it leaves a lot of room for your dirty mind to imagine things - have fun!

Disclaimer: We're simply pretending they belong to us.





 

How dare you send me your awful owl Potter?

That white pest of yours landed on my desk as I was trying to drill some basic knowledge in the thick skulls of first years. Hufflepuff first years. The brats knew it was your owl and they dared to ask me why the saviour of the magical *and* Muggle worlds was contacting me!

I have accepted to work on the potion to cure lycanthropy so that Albus would leave me alone in my dungeons. The bonus for me in that, should you succeed in collecting on the Moor the flower I need in the brew, would be that your infamous godfather would no longer pester me when I prepare the Wolfsbane for his werewolf lover.

And, pray, Potter, why should I be interested in the wards you've installed to collect the flower?

When, and if - for somehow I doubt the validity of the data collected by Albus, the plant finally gives a flower, collect it and fly to Hogwarts (for Merlin's sake, don't Apparate with it!).

I have no need to be disturbed by you. The Hogwarts students do that very well.

Pay attention Potter, and your werewolf friend might get to live a normal life...

Severus Snape,

Potions master





 

Dear Severus Snape, greasy Potions git,

I'm doing fine, thank you very much. I assume that no change has been made to your attitude, so I'm assuming again that you're miserable and angry.

I personally would have thought that seeing Hedwig (she has a name, you know that, right?) land on your desk would have made you happy, or at least cheered you somewhat. I was simply letting you know that I'd decided to accept the assignment. Because like you said, if we're able to complete this and I get the flower, Sirius will never be bothering you again which I know does make you, Merlin forbid, happy.

As for the wards ­ I didn't want you worrying about me not sitting by the plant's side reading a book or staring at it waiting for it to bloom and then accidentally missing it. I'm sorry but I do have better things to do than that; like playing Quidditch with some of the locals or yokels, as you'd call them. They're not very interesting, but they are nice.

Anyway,

Harry Potter





 

For your information Potter - and I see time has not changed your Gryffindorish approach of life, or your dreadful lack of precision for that matter - I am neither miserable, nor angry.

I am bitter.

But that's none of your concern...

I am certain that the remaining Marauders do not mind your pathetic choice of words. I'm not even sure that your father would have corrected you, but I know that Lily Evans would have been disappointed in your lack of respect towards an elder and a former teacher.

About our common assignment... your assumptions are wrong, again.

Of course Albus and Black will leave me alone while I brew the intricate potion that might cure Lupin... and every were- and wifwolf in the world.

Tell me Potter; have you spent a whole night of the full moon with your godfather's companion? Have you seen the pain in his eyes as he becomes that monster?

And Lupin is one of the few who has access to the Wolfsbane...

I don't want to imagine what the lycanthropes go through every month.

I don't want to remember the madness I saw in the eyes of a complete werewolf in the Shrieking Shack decades ago...

You certainly won't believe it Potter, but my only interest in that mission is to find a cure - even if my part in it will be ignored once more.

Your gift with wards is not to be discussed, but playing Quidditch *is* dangerous Potter - I thought you had enough awaken in the Hospital Wing to acknowledge the fact, or maybe some Bludgers did real damage. For the sake of the mission, be careful.

Of course you're young and don't want to stay near a plant that blossoms every five hundred years.

I understand.

Yet, Potter, we are the first disposing of the experimental indications left by Nicolas Flamel and the possibility to harvest the flower... We cannot afford to wait for five more centuries. Don't you agree?

 

Your owl was attacked by a raven. I healed her, but you should give her some more potion from the phial I attach to her leg.

Severus Snape

Potions master





 

Snape-

Hedwig looks to be doing fine, her right wing is obviously hurting, but you healed her well. Thank you. Should I follow up the potion with anything? I hope Chloe got this letter to you in a timely fashion, the wizard at the Owl Post Office in town said she was the best he had at the moment.

Being bitter does make you miserable and angry. I simply decided to call it something else for a change. And the fact that you mentioned my mother in the next paragraph tells me even more hasn't changed ­ you're still angry with me for being my father's son.

For your information Snape, which you should already know, is no ­ I have not spent a whole night with Remus while he was in wolf form nor would I want to if I had the chance. Sirius doesn't want to take any chances even with Remus taking the Wolfsbane. Or at least that's what he tells me. They could be having some sort of twisted animal sex ­ I don't know and I don't care. All I know is that if Remus is cured it will make everyone's life easier including yours.

Quidditch is dangerous; I'm not denying that. But Quidditch against professional or even organized teams is far more dangerous than what I'm doing. We only have a Quaffle to toss around and I always carry a snitch with me, so we don't even have to worry about Bludgers ­ I do wish you'd calm down.

Anyway ­ life here is peaceful if not a bit rainy. The people are incredibly nice and they're not overly impressed by my "celebrity." Kind of like you except without the bastard part.

I know socializing isn't your thing, but when you do show your face at meals, could you please tell McGonagall, Dumbledore and Hagrid that I wish them well.

Thanks,

Harry Potter





 

Potter,

First things first... Your owl certainly had to fight against the winds to fly back to you. I tried to reason her, but she is just as stubborn as her owner. I hope she'll listen to you. What I advise is complete rest for a whole week. Keep giving her two drops of potion every morning as written on the phial and if she still needs some in seven days, owl me and I'll send more.

The owl you sent was... very efficient. She managed to find me in Hogsmeade...

I won't play with you Potter. I'm not angry with you for being James's son. I'm angry with you for not being more like Lily. If you had chosen Lupin for surrogate father and role model, I would almost have approved. It's not the past history between Black and me that makes me react that way... You never knew your parents... James could have fun with the Marauders, but when it came to pranks like the one Black had in store for me, he perfectly embodied the spirit of your old House. And your mother Potter... She may have been a Gryffindor Muggle-born witch and I am a Pureblood Slytherin, but she was a gentlewoman. She was powerful enough, and cunning enough, to save you, and I hate to see you grow up to be more and more like Black and not like your parents...

And, Potter, I'll admit that I might be bitter and angry, but I'm not miserable.

When the War ended, you went away to avoid Skeeter and her acid quill. I take it you remember how you felt when she stalked you...

Reverse the situation Potter and you'll understand how I feel. How it feels to be totally ignored. Two decades of my life wasted spying for the Order and all I get is nothing. Don't be mistaken my young Gryffindor, I wouldn't trade place with you or any of your friends, but I'd like the members of our community to stop looking at me as if I were Voldemort's minion.

I made a mistake when I was still a child. I've been deceived and betrayed and I haven't stopped paying for that ever since.

That's why the arrival of Hedwig in my class made me so... angry: the mere sight of your owl made the eyes of the students spark with something that is almost never seen in my classroom.

Twice, I had the occasion to stay with Lupin on a full moon. With what you've told me I understand better the hurt in his eyes. The first time, I was terrified and he gave me time to get accustomed to the wolf. Once I had spotted the humanity in his eyes, I chatted with him.

Now if his companion doesn't trust him when he is under the influence of the Wolfsbane, which I prepare with the greatest care even if Black doubts my skill, I cannot start to imagine how his self-esteem suffers from that.

If Lupin's Curse really is the only reason why Black isolates him on full moon - and not for the unusual reason you mentioned - then maybe you could have a word with your godfather. It is an unfair way to treat Lupin.

Of course, Quidditch without Bludgers suddenly sounds... oh! Potter! Why did you accept to be sent on that godforsaken Moor?

A Quaffle and your own Snitch!

As to the region being rainy, I know. This is where I was born.

The magical community is simple; but the people are nice, indeed.

If you wish to add letters for your friends with your next owl I'll deliver them. We had a staff meeting this afternoon and I included all my fellows in your greetings, they were all happy to hear from you.

In the name of your mother, I do wish you're going to watch your tongue now. You are no longer my student. If I could understand some familiarity, I will not stand rudeness. You are James and Lily's son. Not Black's.

 

Severus Snape





 

Snape,

Hedwig's angry but she understands. I'm glad Chloe was efficient. I told her to find you no matter the costs.

And I want to tell you something ­ I know I never knew my parents. You don't have to rub it in. I've had people telling me how much I'm like my parents my entire life and I don't understand a single word of what they say. I'm sorry I'm not my mother. I wish I knew them. I wish I didn't grow up in a cupboard. I can't tell you how many times I wanted a mother to love me, a father to play games with ­ but I've NEVER had that. I know Sirius isn't a perfect role model ­ but he's the only person that's ever loved me and I could really tell that it was unconditional. Sure Ron and Hermione love me as a friend - not the same. Dumbledore loves me as a son, but it's not passionate, caring love. You know how he loves ­ if you can't do something for him (spy) or if you haven't done something for him (temporarily kill Voldemort and then fix the glitch in the first time) he simply knows who you are and wants to see you be a wizard. Sirius is the first person I knew to have that unconditional parental love for me. And he's the first person I can ever remember really loving me. I'm sorry if I grew attached to that when I got offered the chance to. Remus, because of his lycanthropy and generally extremely fragile health, never did get the chance to get close to me; you sent him away before he had the chance. And honestly, now that he and Sirius are living together, do you think that Sirius gives us a moment alone? He loves both of us so much that Remus and I never have a chance to bond one on one ­ which let's be honest, is how relationships grow. I'm sorry for the choices that I made that disappoint you. You know that wasn't my intention and I wish you'd stop making it seem like it always has been.

I don't know why Sirius keeps him away during the full moon. He says it's because if anything goes wrong he doesn't want me getting hurt. I certainly don't doubt your skills in preparing the potion. I think Sirius trusts you with that as well. Do you think he'd honestly let anyone brew a potion for his lover if he didn't trust the potion? I'm not sure he trusts you, but he must in this particular instance.

As for Remus' self-esteem - he suffers from that normally and I'm not sure Sirius realizes this, but he does have a thick skull and there's nothing you or I can do about it.

Harry Potter

PS Sorry if the letter was a bit of a rant.





 

Potter,

There's no need to apologize.

Even though you may doubt it, as Black would, I never was angry with you. I was angry with your parents for trusting Pettigrew, for letting that lunatic of Voldemort find and kill them... Leaving you an orphan... I still don't understand why Albus left you with your Mudblood relatives - I take it you'll agree with me that they deserve that name.

If I've been demanding with you - and I hope that now, as an adult, you see it was only that; it was because I knew that the Dark Lord was not gone. I felt him whispering in my blood and soul. I knew he would find a way to come back and I knew you would have to be strong and powerful. I was harsh with you so that you would live another day. And another day.

I am disappointed neither in your choices, nor in you. I would just hate to see James and Lily's son become the copy of Sirius Black. Love your godfather and his companion with all your heart, but be yourself.

You're not your parents either, but their legacy should be a part of your life...

I know that Hagrid collected pictures of your parents for you. When I started spying for the Order, I started exchanging owls with your mother. Exactly one hour after Chloe is back - for Merlin's sake Potter! Stop threatening that poor owl she'll find me sooner or later - my crow will bring you a small bundle of parchments. That's not much, but you'll know some more about Lily, her work, your father, yourself (she was pregnant when we started working together) and your family. The two last parchments are Voicers: when Lily and James went in hiding she bewitched her last two letters; when you open them, you'll hear her voice (in the second James says a few words and you'll even hear yourself giggling). You can keep those. You can also ask me any question about them. I'll ask the other members of the Order if they have similar documents...

Maybe that glimpse of your parents will help you.

You are Harry Potter - an independent man and wizard. You had parents; you have friends, but don't live your life for any of them. Keep in mind that it is for living for others that I ended in the claws of Voldemort.

It is none of my business, but I think Black would listen to you if you were to ask him to treat Lupin differently. If someone can drill an idea into Black's skull, it's you...

For a man who spent so many years in Azkaban, I think it's strange to see him isolate his companion. If he has more love than lust for Lupin, at least convince him to talk to Lupin while he's in wolf form - even I did it. Now if it's the contrary and that there's only lust, maybe your friendship for Lupin could help him out of that relationship. No one deserves that.

If you need an owl to communicate with them I can ask Albus to lend you one till Hedwig feels better. That's the least he could do after sending you to freeze on that moor...

By the way, should you need assistance, you can Apparate into Yorselby-on-Moor and ask for the local mediwitch, Mrs. Scylla Snape, she's my aunt and my only living relative. She can help you - or offer an excellent tea if you just feel lonely. I hope you'll tell her I send greetings if you go and see her.

I promise to keep our shared view of Albus the Manipulator between ourselves; even though I fear he knows how we feel and what we think.

Once more, don't apologize for learning who you really are...

 

Severus Snape

PS: don't pay too much attention to my crow, Xonian; he's too talkative for his own good... But if you need anything to make your life more pleasant, don't hesitate to tell him, he has an excellent memory and I'll see what I can do.





 

Snape,

Sorry this letter is a bit later than the others. Hope you didn't worry ­ I'm fine ­ no Quidditch injuries, but I was listening to the Voicers for a long time debating on how to write this letter. I ended up writing lots of letters. Most of them addressed to dead people ­ as many of the people I knew now are.

Thank you for the letters.

Thank you for the Voicers

I can't even begin to thank you enough. That's the first time I ever heard my parents speak ­ not scream. Thank you.

My only question: Was my father jealous of your friendship with my mother?

I'm trying to be Harry Potter. I just don't know how to be Harry Potter. Growing up I was told who he was ­ defeater of Voldemort! Saviour of the worlds! I know how to be the Harry Potter that everyone wants ­ which deep down I know isn't who I am. Sirius lets me be a kid. You know, that thing I never got to be? I'm twenty-two now and I'm still enjoying the carefree feeling and I don't ever want to lose it. Remus got his hands on some Muggle board games and I felt like I could really compete and be normal. I get to start out with a set amount of money from the bank and go through life buying property, getting married, completing school. (You should try the board games ­ they're a lot of fun.)

I know you've tried to protect me and be a distant influence in my life. I'm not sure when I realized that. Maybe it was my first year when I found Quirrel looking in the Mirror of Erised and not you. But I just... you were such a bastard!!! All I ever wanted was love! And not the love that comes with being a celebrity! I fucking wish you would have been there for me; telling me about my parents when I still saw you everyday! I appreciate everything you've done for me! I just wish you didn't do it so distantly.

When I get back I'll talk to Sirius about how he treats Remus. I don't know if I can drill anything into his head or not, but I'll certainly try. I don't want you thinking that Sirius doesn't let him out of the house. He's got a job in the Muggle town near their house and I know he's got a few friends around there as well, I've met some of them when I went into town with Sirius.

I think he isolates Remus more than he should be allowed to because he's jealous. And I KNOW you understand that. I'm not going into it any further, but I know you understand it.

Their relationship is more than lust; I guarantee you that. Remus almost clings to Sirius for dear life. I think it's based on fear of abandonment. I've constantly been abandoned, so I'm not afraid of it anymore, but Sirius and Remus have had two very traumatic blows with such an experience and neither one of them wants it to happen again.

As for Albus the Manipulator ­ thank you for keeping it between us. And if he does know, which he probably does, because he knows everything, so be it. I'm beyond caring what his opinion of me is.

I did go visit your Aunt. For a chat though, nothing else. I'm in quite good health other than a slight cold, which makes me feel like a human being so I'm choosing to get over it the Muggle way. I needed some contact other than the villagers, and I figured if I visited a Snape at least I'd get a good dose of sarcastic reality; which I did get, with great and kind (who knew a Snape had a heart?) enthusiasm.

She does make an excellent cup of tea ­ thank you for the recommendation.

Hedwig is getting much better. I might try sending her out after this letter. Chloe's been spending a lot of time out here keeping Hedwig company. I, personally, was very grateful for her visits while I was isolating myself up here ­ she's lifted both of our spirits.

Xonian ­ yes he certainly is talkative. Chloe and Hedwig ganged up on him a bit I think to get him to be quiet ­ it was a sight. I hope his feelings aren't hurt. I'm good on supplies at the moment unless you feel like sending some Chocolate Frogs they seem to be a rarity around here

Harry





 

Potter,

My aunt owled me to let me know that you had called. Spying must be running in our family.

Though your desire to cure your cold in the Muggle way is something that I don't fully understand, I will let you do as you please. Yet, being a Potions master, I cannot resist sending you some Muggle potion. Its common name is whiskey. I'm sure it'll help.

My aunt, as you now know, is an amazing lady. She is one of my role models. It's a pity we are the only two Snapes you'll ever meet because our family was renowned for its kindness.

My heart? It seems that I misplaced a part of it and the rest was shattered...

I am not a bastard. I have already told you that I am a Pureblood... (Yes, Potter, that is a joke). It seems that your use of swear-words is natural to you and I promise that I no longer will associate that abuse of the English language to any connection with a certain now registered Animagus. It must be one aspect of your education that escapes me... Maybe my systematic use of your surname feels alien to you, but this is the way I have been educated. Only my aunt, Albus, Minerva and Poppy use my name. Long ago, your mother did as well.

To answer your question, your father was not jealous. He knew he had absolutely no reason to be. It took him some time to accept that Lily and I could work together however. He thought it was some trick of Voldemort to attack the Order, but I gave him the same proof I gave Albus, and he let me work with your mother.

Somehow Granger reminds me of Lily. The same eagerness, the same logic. If I understand why Lily married your father, the reasons why Granger attached herself to Weasley remain a total mystery... Well, my sole and only concern in this will be to have to deal with the next batch of Weasleys coming to Hogwarts in a little more than a decade. Granger told me that Weasley owled you to announce her pregnancy and, as you can read, she owled me. You will certainly be a godfather soon...

You don't have to thank me.

I should have given those to you sooner.

And you're right; I should have talked to you before you passed your N.E.W.T.s.

It's no excuse, but their loss is still painful. I hope you'll forgive me.

I'm also sorry that I had to be so harsh, but I had to make you stronger and to protect you from the active Death Eaters. If they had thought for one second that I could have befriended you, they would have asked me to bring you to Voldemort. If I had refused, the actions of the Order would have been endangered and I would have been killed. If I had openly befriended you, some Death Eater spawn would have told his parents and the two of us could have been abducted and killed.

I'm sorry it had happened that way.

Albus gave me access to the entire archives of the Order and I have been authorized to give you any document in relation with your parents. It will take some time, but I'll read the archives after work and will send you whatever I find.

I think Minerva might have some letters as well, I shall ask her the permission to duplicate them.

The Marauders might have some items as well, when Lupin comes for his potion, I will ask him.

You will have to find your own way to finally deal with your loss.

To find who Harry Potter is, listen to that tiny voice, the voice that wants to guide you.

I know that I'm going to regret this, but what is that Muggle board game you mentioned? Muggle Studies was not one of my options and I don't know what you're talking about.

Is this what you want in life? To buy property and get married? (I know you inherited your parents' wealth and I saw you complete school four years ago).

I can understand Black being jealous. It still doesn't mean that it's fair to Lupin who already has to fight all the side effects of his Curse. Try and do something.

Be careful for your own sake, Potter, the fear of abandonment never leaves us...

Should you feel lonely, my aunt assured me that you would be welcome at her house, at any time.

I'm sure Weasley or Black and Lupin would love to come and stay with you.

Knowing our beloved Albus, I would bet that he'll Apparate soon to see if you're all right.

Should you need anything, you can also contact me, though I guess my name won't be on top of your parchment...

Convince Hedwig not to fly too far...

I owe you two good laughs in the same week:

I had never seen Xonian try to pout as he told me how the owls silenced him and it was positively hilarious.

Then I went to Honeydukes' to order Chocolate Frogs for you; at the counter was, of course, a former student. I hadn't set foot in that shop since my own school days, hence the general surprise. Yet, and I hope the box has been delivered by now, when I asked for a whole box with the new series of cards... for you... Everybody became silent. Honeyduke himself had to come and take the order!

I think you'll have enough chocolate till the end of your stay and you'll get to see the cards made after the end of the War.

I'm asking you only one thing. If you ever find the card they made of me, don't remind me I've been weak enough to let Albus talk me into accepting to have one of those with my picture.

Sincerely,

Severus Snape





 

Snape,

Your use of last names perturbs me somewhat, but if it's what you like and consider informality I guess I can accept that.

I drank the whiskey. Perhaps a bit too fast; Dumbledore showed up almost immediately after I fell over. I forgot how powerful Muggle alcohol could be when you're not accustomed to it. So needless to say I was put to bed, and scolded for being so careless. Which it was, and I apologize for using your gift like that. If the plant had bloomed, then we would have been fucked and all that; but according to my calculations it's not due to bloom for another few weeks.

You mentioned that Ron, Sirius, or Remus might be able to come and visit me. But I realized that I'm quite enjoying the solitude and only seeing people when I want to ­ I guess I understand you a little bit better. Ron, as much as I love him, I don't want to hear about the Ministry, and I don't want to hear how happy he is. Not right now. Sirius needs to concentrate on one thing at a time, and he needs to concentrate on work and not on cheering me up. He's got a typical male one-track mind and I don't want to distract it from anything important. As much as I'd love to have Remus here, with him would come Sirius. Though I enjoyed Dumbledore's company, I really would have rather been alone.

Yes, my foul language has nothing to do with Sirius. My uncle screamed at me constantly so I kind of naturally picked it up. If it does offend you, please let me know and I'll try to stop.

Your aunt was an amazing lady. I'm not surprised that she owled you. Um, about my last visit, yesterday, did she owl you about that? Well if she did oh never mind.

You said my father had no reason to be jealous. Why was that?

Hermione like my mother.

I don't know how to respond to that.

I do know about her pregnancy I hope she'll be able to be the mother that I deserved (and I feel I have a right to say that) and that she'll be there for her child so that her children will know how great their mother is; instead of wondering constantly

As for worrying about the next batch of Weasleys I know Hermione won't have her house be anywhere near the mad house Molly let hers become so I wouldn't worry too much about another Fred and George... unless they have children ­ and pray that never becomes a reality.

I'm tired of being told that everyone was 'harsh' with me so I could face the Actives. That's bullshit and we all know it. I don't know what anyone's real reasoning is My guess is that everyone was afraid to get to know me because everyone thought I'd die ­ it's that abandonment issue, Snape ­ it haunts everyone but me. Why didn't they think that you could befriend me? What was stuck in their head that saw us never being friends? Then again, they were Death Eaters; they couldn't have been that smart.

When Remus visits, would you please have him owl me? If I owl him Sirius might intercept it and all that because like you said, Hedwig is very well known and I haven't seen Chloe in a few days.

Ha, dear Professor Snape, you're asking about Muggle games now. They have five games:

Life and Monopoly were the ones I was talking about. Life's getting difficult to play because we have a surplus of little female figures for the cars. They also have Candyland and Risk (which only Remus and I play because Sirius isn't patient enough). Then they have another game called Trivial Pursuit; which asks insanely odd questions about the Muggle world. We don't play that one much, obviously. Remus is looking for a Wizard version of the cards. I'm not sure they make one.

I do hope Xonian's ego hasn't been damaged too much

Thank you for the Frogs. They were absolutely incredible ­ well I still have quite a few around you sent me far too many! I'll never be able to finish them all! But I'm sure if I saw you come into Honeydukes' to purchase them, my jaw would have dropped far enough to fit every Chocolate Frog ever made into my mouth. Thank you for getting them for me.

I know you didn't want me to bring this up, but I am I did get your card. It was right at the top of the box; second one I opened actually (the first was Cedric Diggory ­ talk about a way to ruin a chocolate for me). The picture of you is a great picture; I don't know why you're ashamed of it. You scowled at me, curled your lip that sinister little smile of yours and then disappeared. Mine is a picture to be ashamed of ­ it's not even a formal portrait. I've got still bleeding scars on my face, black and blank eyes, and dirt everywhere ­ be happy with your picture.

Harry





 

Potter,

I have been brought up to call people by their surname. Besides, would you like your awful and old Potions master to use your name? I doubt it.

And I can speak for no one else, but I was harsh with you to make you stronger... to face the Death Eaters and their master, and to be a strong wizard. That was for Lily, and not for the debt I had with your father...

I could not be friendly with you because it would have been dangerous for you and if, Merlin forbids, you had become attached to your Potions master, I didn't want you to have to mourn another loss. Truth be told Potter, I was certain that I would not survive the War. In your first years, I even thought that I would have to protect and shield you more actively than I had already done.

I'm sorry you found Diggory's card first. It seems that I still bring back shadows in your life.

I thank you for trying to explain the Muggle games, but all this is still alien to me.

Xonian told me more about your wards and I don't doubt that even in a coma they would have awakened you. Do not let Albus tell you what you can or cannot do. You're an adult and you're not in debt as I was once to him.

Speaking of our beloved elders, my aunt said nothing of your second visit. Anything you want to share Potter?

Do you know how much do you sound on the verge of a breakdown? You're happy that your mentor left, you don't want your family and your best friend with you. Do you know how strange it sounds?

If there is anything I can do, let me know. I gave your message to Remus - even if it was very cryptic - and I already shopped for chocolate for you... (Yes, Potter, that's another joke). What is not a joke is that you can count on me.

I will not ask you to remedy to your foul language. It's obviously some defence mechanism. Yet, now that you have Lily's Voicers I hope you'll sound more like her someday...

Granger could be a model as well.

You surprised me when I read that you feared the possibility of the Weasley twins eventually producing offspring. I'm feeling less lonely.

And one last thing... With the lifestyle of your godfather don't tell me you still don't know why your father wasn't jealous Potter. If I had been working with James, maybe Lily would have been the one to have reasons to be jealous. Witches never interested me... Don't tell me you didn't know... Or maybe you find that unfamiliar or even unacceptable if there is not Black or Lupin involved in the sentence, which could be the reason why you were the only one not discussing the lack of witches in my life. So you see, James had nothing to fear from me.

Severus Snape





 

I'm going to be daring here.

Dear Severus,

Why not call me Harry? Come on, you could do with some change in your life and I'm going to help you with that. And first off we're going to boost your self-esteem: You're NOT old. I don't want you thinking that or saying that until you're older than Dumbledore.

This is Hedwig's maiden journey to you now. I sent her into town to bring some treats to Chloe, but she wanted to take the challenge to get back to you and I decided she looked well enough to do so. Tell me what you think.

I don't want you worrying about Cedric's card. It was sad ­ there's nothing I can say to deny that, but it was a comfort to know that he got one for his sacrifice so early in the war. After all, if it weren't for him, I wouldn't be here.

Thanks for having Remus owl me. If it involves me, Sirius thinks it involves him, so I'm going to try and just have a conversation with Remus and Remus alone. I missed talking to him, that's all. You know how gentle he is.

I guess I do owe you somewhat for making me a strong wizard. But none of the people that treated me like shit in my adolescence seemed to remember that I had a cruel childhood; that made me a strong person.

Well if your aunt didn't tell you about my second visit maybe the Snape family was indeed kind. I just simply felt like I could trust her with all the stuff that's been bothering me lately so I just kind of spilled ­ everything. If I sounded on the verge of a breakdown it might be because I'm often feeling like I am. Occupation wise I'm fine. I'm actually feeling rather lucky that I don't have a "real" job. These little missions are quite fun. Friendship wise ­ I know I have friends. I do miss them. I write them occasionally. I just don't want to be smothered by presence. But this is where it gets complicated. I'm craving the presence of people that love me. Not to mention physical touch ­ been a bit long for that. But it's just so argh! There are just so many inner conflicts that I need to deal with. I just need to get off of this moor. It was nice for a while but I want to come home.

I understand my mother a bit more with the Voicers and the rest of the letters you've been kind enough to send me. It's more than anyone else has tried to help me understand. Hermione has been a mentor and a role model to me since our first year. I've spent a few nights cuddled up with her because it was a maternal force holding me. Ron got jealous, and put an end to that fairly quickly. And um, he, like my father, really has no reason to worry.

Harry

PS I think everyone fears the Weasley twins reproducing.





 

Don't make me sound like a research project Harry...

I'm old enough to be your father and sometimes I do feel older than Albus.

And you should know that there are some scars that people never forget; nothing can possibly change in my life.

As you can see, it's Xonian who brought you that parchment. Hedwig is fine but she was too tired to fly back to you straight away and I've talked her into staying here. She refused to stay in the Owlery but accepted my hospitality - does she need company as much as her owner?

The phial Xonian gave you contains a potion you could pour on your wards. Should anything happen while you're away you would be immediately warned by the Faeries of the Moor (they can Apparate and they're my friends). Then, though it's not 'your' home, you could go and stay with my aunt. There would be no reason to tell Albus and you would be indoors - yes, my aunt told me that your cold was still there, but that's all she said. Should you feel inclined to... spill... more in her wilful ear, you now know that the Snapes hold their tongues. Whatever your 'inner conflicts' are she would listen to you and offer sound advice. Since it seems that we have more in common than I initially thought, I can assure you that she could help you with any problem.

I suppose you found your way to Granger's bed under James's Invisibility Cloak. I can easily imagine Weasley's reaction - even if you explained where your loyalties lay... Granger's a fine girl and she'll be a beautiful mother - and remember, Harry, that I can hex you if you tell her I wrote that (that is not a joke).

I've contacted Moody and he promised to send you the personal parchments from James that he kept. I should have worked on that sooner. Albus should have as well.

If do you think that it could be easier for Lupin, you can tell him that I could add his letters to my answers and he could tell Black he has to write me because I'm pestering him about the Wolfsbane and the potion to cure his Curse... Black would believe it without questioning his companion.

I am glad that you survived the War.

We've lost too many people in that fight.

I still miss Draco.

Maybe you didn't know, but he was my godson. I saw Lucius start destroying him almost from the moment he was born. I hope you're no longer bitter for what he did. He was very much like me and I take it you'll understand how some families can harm some people. Had he been given time, he would have become a good man.

He was almost like a son to me, especially since I knew that I would never have a child of mine.

May our friends rest in peace...

Use the potion and my Faeries Harry and go and stay with my aunt... even for a few days only.

You do not want me to Apparate and feed you Emotion potions to balance your reactions, do you?

Take care of yourself,

Severus Snape





 

Ha I win. You called me Harry.

I don't want you as a research project. I want you as my friend. So you're old enough to be my father ­ it doesn't matter to me. Things can change Severus, if you let them.

Hedwig does like company. She's got an ego. Thanks for taking her in. Xonian I think will be quite happy while I write this letter ­ no one to harass him.

I did pour the potion on my wards. It'll be nice not to have to worry in the back of my mind whenever I step away.

Your aunt did mention that I might be able to stay with her. I think I'm going to take her up on the offer. My cold isn't getting any better at all and I might have to succumb to magical medicine. Tell me, my dear Severus, some of the other things we have in common. I'm quite curious.

And as grateful as I am for your aunt's ear, I'm three times that for the fact that I can count on you and I hope that once I return to Hogwarts I'll be able to do just that.

You make it sound like when I was with Hermione I was horribly ashamed of it and that I tried sleeping with her. First off, I've never tried to sleep with Hermione; and with your recent comparisons to my mother I don't think I'll ever do it even for experimental reasons.

I made my way over to their flat like any other person would ­ I flooed. No invisibility cloak it still smells of blood and deceit and everything else that war brought on ­ I'm not sure I'll ever wear it again. (That's your hint not to go looking for any of my godchildren lurking about underneath it, so save your energy now.) I went over when I knew Ron wouldn't be home because I knew he wouldn't understand the need I had (because Molly is truly overbearing) and because if I was caught I'd have to explain everything which I knew wouldn't be good either. I think he's better with it now than he was then but it still squicks him a bit.

Thank you for your offer with the whole Operation: Remus, but it's working well thus far. I think Sirius already does believe he's owling you or Dumbledore, so no need to worry there.

I knew Draco was your godson. We all knew; it was, well, obvious. For as much of a bastard as that kid could be we all felt sorry for him because we knew it wasn't his fault; but nothing we said to that extent would have mattered because he idolized his father (unfortunately) and we were Gryffindors. If I thought I could have helped, I would have. He was powerful and everyone knew it ­ it's just unfortunate that he grew to worship the bad guys.

I'm sorry for your loss of Draco, but I can't apologize to anyone for the loss of Lucius.

I wouldn't mind you Apparating out here if only for a weekend. It'd be a good change to see you out of the dungeons and it'd be nice to have some intelligent company (your aunt is, of course, excluded from the yokel variety). You could leave the potions at home though ­ the company would be enough.

Trying really hard at taking care of himself,

Harry





 

Your enthusiasm will never cease to amaze me Harry.

I haven't witnessed that many changes so you'll allow me to doubt that my life could improve.

I cannot start to figure why you would want me to be your friend. You don't need someone like me and I don't deserve you.

Hedwig was rested enough to bring you that letter and she liked me enough to offer me a dead mouse - which I accepted.

The phial attached to her leg is not for her but for you. You've tried to heal your cold like a Muggle and it obviously didn't work...

I do not want to change you or force anything on you, but I am a Potion master and it pains me to know that you're not well.

Besides, if you don't take my potion of your own accord, my aunt will cure you whether you want it or not.

I'm but a master, she's an extremely powerful mediwitch. She's very kind, but when it comes to illness... Drink my potion Harry.

What we have in common?

We're both too much stubborn for our own good.

We don't easily confide in others but when we do a dam breaks.

Granger is our friend - actually she had mentioned the nights you had spent curled up against her because she feared for your well-being (she has accepted my telling you that... you see, I can keep secrets and I never betray my friends), but I honestly thought that you had needed her help while still in school.

Your choice of companions for the Yule Ball suddenly makes more sense. No scientific curiosity would convince you to... try Harry?

Beside that, I guess that we must have some other tastes in common, but I don't think I'm ready to discuss my preferences with you, eager Gryffindor - blame it on my education if you want.

I understand how you feel about your Invisibility Cloak. I still find it unpleasant to fly. I still see Draco falling off his broom; hit by the Killing curse Lucius had cast upon him. When I fly, I still feel how much I hated Lucius when I killed him.

And yet, next weekend I will not be able to Apparate to my aunt's: I'm refereeing a Quidditch match and Albus ordered me to supervise an outing in Hogsmeade. Another time... if you still want to see me.

Do take care of yourself Harry, for yourself and because you don't want my aunt to nurse you. I think she can be worse than Molly Weasley... (yet another joke, young Gryffindor)

Be well,

Severus Snape





 

Dear Severus,

Did anyone ever tell you that a kind note about how some potions make you drowsy was a good thing to include when you send such things out? I fell asleep and missed dinner down at the pub with some friends of mine. Don't worry about it ­ they all ended up getting completely pissed and then arrested, so you helped me in a round about way.

Hedwig's pretty sore. I'm going to see if I can get Chloe back for a little bit more, or at least to send this letter off.

"You don't need someone like me and I don't deserve you." I'm tending to think the opposite Severus. You healed my owl, you sent me whiskey, you sent me a potion, you referred me to your aunt, you've allowed me to call upon the Faeries, you taught me potions, YOU SAVED MY LIFE on more than one occasion, and you've let me spill my guts to you and yet you still think that I don't need someone like you. I guess one of the things we don't have in common is that I seem to find logic in this and you still don't. And if you don't think you deserve me, I certainly don't deserve you because I haven't done nearly that much for you.

I'm sorry you can't come out this weekend. Which match are you refereeing? I'd only let you ref Ravenclaw v. Hufflepuff ­ you tend to be a bit biased towards or against the other two houses if you ask me. I don't think that much has changed. Perhaps another weekend then. Or perhaps this stupid plant will bloom soon and I can come back.

Yes, both of us are quite stubborn.

Both of us don't trust that easily. But we seem to be doing well in this instance, why do you think that is?

I'm really surprised that you and Hermione are as close as you are. Wait, never mind, I take that back. But I'm glad that you two are friends ­ she'll do you a load of good and I'm sure you'll keep her grounded in reality when Ron might try to lift her out of it and raise her hopes to an impossible level.

I did need Hermione's help while I was in school ­ but for different reasons. You remember in my second year when Hermione had been stunned by the basilisk? Well do you remember the scroll that I turned in when I didn't have her around to edit it? But as the years progressed, obviously Hermione has helped me in more ways than I can ever thank her for.

Well your over-eager Gryffindor has a few more things for you to try out: (I can't blame this on your education ­ we went to the same school, didn't we?) Dark hair. I'm a fan of dark hair, how about you?

Taking care of himself,

Harry

And for your information, I have tried something for "scientific experimentation" it just wasn't with Hermione. And again, for your information, it didn't do anything for me.





 

Harry,

I've decided to send you a Voicer. It's not much, but you'll hear a human voice - other than your own - before you move in with my aunt.

Every cloud has a silver lining.

You seem to have forgotten what Poppy and I taught you in seven years (that is to say that to cure a lasting cold your cells need rest and every spark of energy the potion can find), but you're not in jail facing the wrath of our beloved Albus.

As you can see, I've sent Xonian along with Chloe. He's talkative, but efficient, should you need him.

And, yes, Xonian, I know you've heard, but there's no need to pout or grumble... This is ridiculous and will only make Harry laugh...

Harry... ::sigh::... It's really strange to read 'Dear Severus' and your kind words. It seems that you're the first student who's not scared to death at the mere mention of my name.

I shall be happy if I can help you in any way in the future, but I still believe that I don't deserve you...r friendship.

Even if most of your life was dark, you were on the side of light. There's been a time, however brief, when I've been an active Death Eater. Oh, it didn't last for long ::deep breath:: but some of the things I've done, blindly following Lucius and McNair... I still have nightmares about those days...

I fail to see why you would allow someone like me among your friends.

Albus has decided that I should not referee matches involving my Slytherins, but when Hooch has another fish to fry, I'm on duty. The match will be Gryffindor v Hufflepuff... As usual, we'll be lucky if the Hufflepuff team doesn't end in the Hospital Wing. I'll be lucky if they don't send me there...

I've told Albus that I'd rather not fly - for the reasons I've told you - and as you can easily imagine he told me that flying on the Quidditch pitch might help me overcome that problem.

It doesn't.

When players fall off their brooms I see Draco falling... ::sigh::

*pause*

I'm sorry, Harry, I know you have your own ghosts...

Minerva is trying to help me, but you know how Albus can be sometimes.

Maybe I can come over in a fortnight... if Albus doesn't find something else for me...

I was wondering, since the potion might cure one of your friends, if you would like to work with me on it once you've collected the flower.

I know Granger would love to help, but the minute she told me she's pregnant, she knew I would refuse to let her near a cauldron with that potion.

When she started her research at the Ministry, some of Fudge's minions tried to trap her with a tricky assignment. She owled me and I had in my collections the book she needed to complete her work; Xonian brought it to her and we've kept owling since... That was soon after you passed your N.E.W.T.s.

I think Weasley will never try to change his companion and even if he did, Granger will never be a dreamer. I think that those two will be very good parents - tell any of them that I said so and I'll offer you Xonian for Christmas! And do tell that bird to stop pouting...

I cannot come with a theory as to why I trust you... or why you trust me. Especially after spending years in my classroom...

It must be because of the War... The missions we had to plan together... Without trust we would have accomplished nothing...

At least, you... experimented... of your own volition. My former... friends... made me do many silly things... ::sigh::

*pause*

::low chuckle::

Dark hair, um?

Physical details don't count that much for me, except maybe moles and well-defined collar-bones, except if a baritone voice counts...

What are you planning Harry? To take me with you in a Muggle gay club so that we compare our tastes? ::soft laugh::

Sweet Merlin! If you want to give Black a heart attack, do so...

I hope you're feeling better now... I hope the cold is fully gone and that your mood is improved...

Be well,

Your old Potions master will expect news soon...





 

Severus,

Thank you for the Voicer, after asking around I found how to do one, so here's my try.

You said 'old' like age again ­ I don't like that. Stop it.

You said you don't deserve my friendship. Actually, it was said more like you ::pause:: r friendship. Are you telling me something? Subtlety was never a Gryffindor trait ­ I apologize.

My cold is gone; thank you. I'm feeling a lot better actually, the potion helped (no I didn't doubt that it would).

Why do I allow you among my group of friends? Yes, you were a Death Eater. I've known that for a while and I've come to accept it. But you spied, Severus, it was a dirty job but someone had to do it. ::pause:: Fortunately it was you ­ no one else could have survived that.

Umm ::pause:: About Quidditch. I've been trying to come up with a solution and I guess it's a ghost that you'll have to face. The only conclusion I attempted to come up with was for you to simply have someone curse them and you sit there and mutter a counter curse like you did with me. ::pause:: ::giggle:: It was only a suggestion.

I'd never take you to a Muggle gay club ­ you can thank me later for that. ::laugh:: They're fun for a bit ­ but Muggles can't party, can't dance, and can't fuck. ::pause:: The novelty wears off fairly quickly. Comparing tastes is much better done in a park or a square when there are straight blokes walking about ­ that way you can discuss tastes and play the 'Gay or Eurotrash' game. ::giggle::

I don't care if I give Sirius a heart attack.

So, Severus I doubt you've ever fucked a Muggle ­ that's not something you'd do. But Well, like I said they don't know anything about sex and ::pause:: What's your favourite way?

::long pause::

::clears throat:: I hope that was baritone enough for you.





 

Harry,

You've succeeded in making me speechless... hence the normal letter...

Did you say what I think you said?

SS





 

Severus,

If you think I asked you about the fact that you could possibly be interested in me ­ you're right.

If you think I asked what your favourite way to fuck was ­ you're right.

And if you think that I want to fuck your brains out

You're right.

Harry





 

By Merlin!

I feel that you're not joking... but... why?

Why Harry?

I guess I must be your only option on that dreadful moor, but... Why don't you owl Wood? He's a wizard for you...

SS





 

I know Chloe belongs out here, but I assure you that she doesn't mind the flight to Hogwarts. There's no real need to send Xonian with her. Especially after you've told me how talkative he is. You'd never seen him pout before ­ I've never seen a bird blush. Tell me Severus, what really happened when you opened my letter?

I'm not joking.

You're not my only option on this dreadful moor. Just because they're not overly impressed by the name Harry Potter doesn't mean that they won't try for a great story about fucking the boy who lived.

Why don't I owl Oliver? Because I want your wood.

Harry





 

Harry,

Will you do me a favour? No, two in fact.

First could you tell Xonian that he'd better not come back straight away to Hogwarts for I'm mad at him? He's not supposed to go to you when I forbid it in no uncertain words. Thank you.

What happened when I opened and read your letter? You only made me spit my tea and very nearly choke to death - which was a first; and then I refused to tell Xonian why I had reacted that way which is why he went to you.

The second favour I mentioned now...

Even though I have promised that I won't try to change you, yet, there is one thing that I will not accept from you, and it's swear-words when referring to the activity you evoked.

If you are serious about this, you will remember that I don't fuck or shag or any other colourful word that could come to your mind... that I did when obeying Voldemort and Dumbledore and I'd rather forget those times.

If you want nothing more than a few nights, I would be grateful if the next owl you send were the one announcing the blossoming of the flower for the potion.

If this is all you want, owl Mr. Wood or resort to the company of the hand of god, but don't pester me.

Though you said the contrary, repeatedly, I'm too old... too old to enjoy a fugacious liaison...

SS





 

Xonian doesn't look like he's going anywhere for the moment; he stared at Chloe when she returned and there was some sort of bird communication and he's being quite quiet for his disposition.

Well my dear, darling Severus, I'm glad I could elicit such a response from you. I do hope you weren't in class when that happened. I'm not quite sure that Chloe knows not to interrupt class. Then again, Hedwig didn't really seem to do that either

Sorry.

Fine, we don't have to fuck or shag. Let me make love to you Severus Snape

For eternity.

Harry





 

Harry,

Since you passed your N.E.W.T.s and got a good grade in History of Magic, I'll take it you know what you've just written.

Do you really want us to be linked... forever?

And I still find it hard to believe that you would want to make love to me...

SS





 

You find it hard to believe Hmm

I don't.

But what could I do to convince you other than to tell you that I'm sitting here, naked, thinking about you perhaps sitting in your rooms naked thinking about me. Merlin, that makes me hard.

But I know that won't convince you.





 

When Hedwig dropped your letter on my desk, I felt there was something odd. I felt the spell you had put on the parchment... I identified it, but took it nonetheless.

I accept the link Harry.

Through the spell I've felt your love and the sincerity of your feelings. You've found a way to convince me, cunning Gryffindor.

Do you have any idea how dreadful it would have been for us if you had been a Slytherin? Forbidden fruit tempting us hour after hour... I don't want to analyze and search why you have decided to join your life with mine, I will simply enjoy that great gift.

Light and hope.

Love and companionship.

It's almost as if I could taste your smile as I touch your enchanted parchment...

It still feels like the softest dream, but I accept you Harry.

I have felt your eagerness.

I have felt your curiosity as to what I could do to you... what I will do to you when we finally meet again...

Drowning in your emerald-perfect eyes will not be enough.

I want to memorize your scent.

I want to memorize your tastes. From your soft lips to your seed when I make you come. From the sun on your closed eyelids to the scar on your right ankle, where you broke the bone in Quidditch training five years ago. From your fingertips to your nipples.

I want to caress you till your skin is as familiar as my own.

I want to hold you tight in the night and wake up in your arms.

I want to wake up in your arms when I'm as old as Albus.

I want to make you howl and yell with pleasure.

I want to teach you the magic wizards have been gathering for centuries to enhance lovemaking.

I want to share with you each and every Slytherin spell that can be used in bed.

I want to make you shiver in my arms till you forget time and space.

I want to make you forget your name.

I want to make you forget how to speak your native language.

I want to let you do anything that pleases you with me.

I do hope these are the kind of activities you had in mind.

I do hope you like piercings. If you don't, I can always take the ring off...

Severus

ps: don't catch another cold my love... and, yes, I've put the same spell on my parchment...





 

I'm glad you caught the spell on the parchment. I knew you would.

I'm staying with your aunt (I want you to thank the gods that Hedwig got that letter here while your aunt was out ­ the hand of god had to be resorted to) so I don't catch a cold. I'm waiting for the Faeries to announce the blossoming of the flower while I sit here and think about you, dream about you, craving every bit of your being.

You have no idea how it makes me feel for you to accept my parchment.

How it makes me feel to think about your long fingers running over my body; touching me with the same delicate touch you use when you make your potions.

How it makes me feel to just think about you saying, growling, panting, moaning, and screaming 'Harry.'

I want to wake up in your arms, and I want you in mine and I never want you to leave my embrace.

I want to run my hands through your hair and then grab the sheets when you make me come.

How much I want you inside me, dominating me.

How much I want to be inside you, dominating you.

When this damn flower finally blooms (you don't have a potion to help this along, do you?) I'm going to come back to Hogwarts and if you're in class, well I'm going to interrupt class, and I'm going to take you to your rooms. I'm going to throw you on the bed and if we're patient enough maybe we can undress each other ­ slowly. Teasing and tasting and testing each and every bit of each other; learning what makes the other one go insane. But if we're not patient enough the clothes are just going to have to go ­ I don't care how they go because I just want to ravish every inch of your body. My tongue is quite anxious to get acquainted with yours and every other thing that it can taste. My throat wants to meet your prick; and I guarantee you it will be quite accommodating. Everything about me knows that it'll be much happier with you around; one part especially is already letting me know how happy it is that you're with me.

I want to hold your hand and walk down the street and proudly announce that 'Yes, Severus Snape is the love of my life.'

Yours,

Harry





 

My eager Gryffindor

Mine, but not yet bonded and marked with my love

How could I have missed a Slytherin spell?

That's one of the reasons why I knew you meant what you wrote and you meant what you feel. There's no way to alter that spell in any way. It tells but the truth.

Pray the gods you want that the flower will not bloom before this weekend.

I have told Albus I had a family issue - which is true - and he's letting me leave Hogwarts on Saturday morning after breakfast.

If you haven't told my aunt about the wards and the Faeries you can tell her that you want to check the plants; and if she knows you can tell her that you want to check your calculation about the blossoming estimation. If you don't mind, you can also tell her that you're going to see me on the moor and why.

I'm sure you know by now how open-minded she is...

Do as it pleases you.

We'll have to face the whole world soon enough.

I'm in the mood to surprise Albus with that piece of news, what about you?

And what do we do about the Black-Lupin household?

What about our witch friends? Poppy often mended the both of us, Minerva loves us both and Hermione is... our Hermione.

If the flower were to bloom before Saturday and if you don't trust your nerves to be near me as we work on the potion for the lycanthropes, bring the flower to Poppy and wait for me in the Hospital Wing.

I know that you'll agree that, for this last time I hope, we cannot let our personal interest come before our friends' lives.

Should the flower bloom, I would need to add it to the potion immediately and I do not know how I could be reasonable if you cannot...

You've brought light back into my heart.

I can still feel your magic on my fingertips and, at night, it feels like it's not my hands touching my body. There is something alien in the touch that makes me hunger for your touch.

Your hands on me.

Your body covering mine.

Your lips charting my skin.

I want to feel your blood pulse in your prick as you're impaled on me and I want each of your movements to make me see stars.

I want our lovemaking to breach the most powerful Silencing spells.

I want the spirit of Salazar to be jealous of our love.

I want to discover how it feels to be so much in love that the rest of the world becomes a trifle and how it feels to know that that love is shared.

I'm going to make love to you and worship every sound, taste and feeling coming from you.

I know that what I imagine will be but a pitiful shadow of reality and I already imagine your taste sweeter than honey, your moans - when I penetrate you for the first time - like the voice of an angel. Our bond, making us shiver with anticipation, love and then fulfilment.

I wish you to make me cry with happiness and forget all the blight in my life.

I trust you, my sweet Harry, green-eyed survivor.

I trust you enough to assign you the reconstruction of my heart, my soul and my life.

If the plant doesn't bloom, I'm meeting you in three days at ten on the moor... and then...

Your Severus





 

Dearest Severus,

Your aunt does know about us. When she came back I had managed to move back down to her kitchen, but the letter was still with me and I couldn't stop staring at it. She simply looked at me and smiled a true, heartfelt smile.

I think we should let Albus know by doing it on his desk ­ but that's just an idea.

Whoever we tell and whenever we tell someone I want both of us to be together. It'll be a good excuse to visit the Weasley household anyway. Yes, you have to.

As for Remus and Sirius, ­ Remus won't be a problem; ­ Sirius will. ­ I don't care.

The flower is scheduled to bloom any day now ­ we'll figure something out.

In the mean time I'm at your aunt’s house enduring her giggles at the lovesick look I have on my face. Luckily for me she hasn't seen my lust driven face when I imagine what we'll do.

You're right ­ imagination will have no comparison to the reality when I finally get to touch you and taste you. When I'll get to pull on your cock and taste you. When I'll get to play with that nipple ring; that I don't mind at all.

I just simply want you to invade every bit of my being. I want your hair to curtain my face so that only you can see the ecstasy that's on it. I want to lose myself in those jet black eyes that can be filled with such emotion.

I want you Severus.

I need you.

Love

Harry





 

[in Severus's rooms]

Harry! Harry? Where are you? Poppy said she gave you the key...

She did ­ I feel as if I've been waiting forever for you.

But I'm here, now... The potion batched and Lupin dosed with it...

When will we know? Full moon?

Poppy can make tests tomorrow morning, and then, yes, we'll be sure next week...

*relieved sigh* Good... Stop looking so nervous - I'm not going anywhere. Will you please believe me?

I do believe you... How could I *not* believe you with the spell you offered, but... *sigh* Harry... Believing in happiness in my life is not something I'm used to...

I know... I haven't known real happiness since before the war and... I want that to change in both of our lives.

I...

Sorry... I... I didn't know if you'd be ready for a kiss, but I decided to try.

It's...Harry... You didn't have to say your bonding spell at the same time... Give me your hand Love... Left hand... Till death do us part in this life and till the end of human time, I am yours... Now, give me another kiss to seal our vows...

... That was the most amazing feeling...

I know... Light and love and peace... Our bond... Would you like us to announce it to your family or would you like us to complete the ritual?

I think Sirius and Remus can wait. At least, *I* want them to wait - for once.

Then... May I undress you?

Sev, you're too polite. And that's something I never thought I'd say. I would have just done this...

Harry! The house elves are going to kill you! There are... were... over a hundred buttons on my robes and trousers and... Two can play that game "Removio!"

That was my favourite shirt!

It was hideous... Hiding that succulent collarbone...

It was green! How can you say it was... ohhhhhh

Exactly! Now tilt your chin so I can lick you properly...

There... oh Merlin Sev...

Harry? Harry? All right, my bonded... if I have to carry you to our bed, I'll do it... We cannot stand in front of the hearth... for our first time at least... What? Don't look at me like that and don't tell me you don't have fantasies, because, then... Then... I'll take to training you in disciplines you had not even imagined and that... till the end of time... Now let go of me so I can climb on the bed next to you...

Thanks... Thanks for carrying me... I don't think I could have walked. Here get in - I want my turn. Of course I have fantasies and you were disciplining me in some of them.

You Gryffindors really don't have much imagination when it comes to combine Slytherins and fantasies... *hsssssss* Easy when you suck the nipple with the ring... Oh. Better... Much better... At least, you always were a fast learner, but let me show you how to stimulate nipples... without rings or magic...

You're a lot stronger than you look to be able to flip me over... ...where did you learn to do THAT?

Well, Love... *low chuckle* Since Lucius forced me to be on the Quidditch team, and then in the Voldemort team, and when I spied and fought and dragged barrels of ingredients and... chased after... you... under that Invisibility Cloak of yours, I've developed some muscles... Well hidden under my robes... It's not much Pureblood of me, but I thought that one day I might need to fight with my hands, Muggle-like... But it's even a better use now... You don't like my tongue tracing your spine?

It tickles... but... if you go lower it doesn't tickle so much.

Merlin! I do hope you'll never cease to amaze me... I lick your spine and you shiver and you don't object to rimming... Well, anything to please you... Spread your legs some more...

S... Sev... this... let... me taste you too.

As you wish... Ahhhh! Easy eager one... lick and nibble... Don't bite... yet... Or bite my neck; that I like... So... You want me on my back...

Hope you don't mind me straddling you... I'd bite your neck more but I don't think you want your students seeing a hickey... yet... I'm presuming the piercing makes your nipple a bit more sensitive - but how's your belly button without one...

Merlin! Is that instinct or did I fail to notice some of your extra-curricular activities? ... Oh! Yes! Oh! Gods!... *Stop!*... I take it you don't want me to last two seconds, so let me cast an Endurance spell before you redirect your attention to my shaft...

What happens if I play with your ring while I do this....

Aaaaaaaaaah! Harry! Even the best Slytherin and Slytherin spell can't resist that long!... Let me claim you and mark you as my bonded, please...

As long as I get to continue this later.

You don't mind me claiming you first?

Severus, I want to do anything and everything all at once - but I know neither one of us has the energy. I want to be claimed as yours and yours alone.

Thank you my Love... "Accio lubricant!"... Tell me if I don't prepare you enough... I don't want to hurt you...

I trust you.

Your skin is so soft you make me think of silk... Ready, Love?

Let me have one more kiss.

I don't want to hurt you. Are you sure you want to keep your legs on my shoulders?

Would around your waist be easier for you?

No! Let's bless Hooch and her Quidditch training and let's keep your legs where they are... Oh! Merlin! You're so tight... Breathe slowly, Harry, I will slow down... So tight... Hot... Mine...

Oh gods... I... I've never felt like this before... so... complete... I love you Severus... You're... amazing... Merlin Sev... but... faster...

I love you my Harry... You're a gift of the Above; a dream come true... Come for me Harry... Come as I mark you mine... Mine!... *Eternally*!!! *deep breath* Sorry my Love, I didn't mean to collapse on top of you...

*breathing hard* S'all right. Understandably needed. Is that feeling because of the bond?

I... guess... I had never made love to someone I really loved before, so I couldn't tell...

That makes two of us. But I'm sure we'll be making love with someone we love much more often now. *giggle*

*soft laugh* Your secret plan is to make me pay in bed and kill me through orgasm for your horrible years in my classroom? *chuckle* I'll never complain, my Love... Cast the Endurance spell on the both of us and make me yours. It feels like each and every cell is calling you out... Complete our bond Harry and we'll face the world as one.

Damn Severus - you figured out my evil plan - I was going to kill you through orgasm. But it's a fabulous way to go, isn't it? *laugh* Are you sure you're ready for me to take you and make you mine - for eternity?

Yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!

Do I get to continue what I'd started earlier or do you want me to claim you now and tease you later?

Claim me! You have the whole eternity to tease me...

Aww, Severus I've never seen you squirm before - I kind of like it.

Harry!... Make us one...

I'm trying! I can't for the life of me figure out where you put the lube!

Under the eiderdown... I think I saw the pot roll there... Yes! Here you are...

I'm going to build a shrine to this on your night table by the way; I hope you don't mind. ...Where do you want your legs, love?

Do whatever you want with the night table... later!... And I'm too tall to put my legs on your shoulders, you'll have to sandwich between my legs... Merlin!... Harry! Either you train me horizontally, or I'll have to offer to referee more often... Slowly Love, I'm not as supple as you are...

Okay... Oh gods Severus... I don't know... I don't know if... if the endurance spell is going to last... you're so... Merlin... I'm not hurting you, am I?

Noooo... It's so much... too much and never enough... Mark me!

Only... at the same time... are you ready?

Yes... One or two strokes will be enough...

Almost... Merlin... Severus! *deep breath* Now we belong to each other.

We are one my Love, before men and gods... and... Merlin knows how and why you've won my heart and soul, but I do love you, Harry Potter.

And I love you, Severus, and I always will. This bond will be proof of that. And I think we should share our bond with our friends now. But I'm debating; Love, to tease you or to tell them... Why not do both? Let's go tell Albus - the way I'd suggested telling him. ... What!? I thought it was a good idea!

Well... only if you summon Black from the Hospital Wing...



 

[in Albus's office]

Do you think he knows?

*sigh* You know him almost as well as I do... What do you think, Love?

Considering his known talent for knowing everything - probably.

It's quite easy... According to his first words, we'll know... If he mentions Lupin, he doesn't know and then we can have fun with him... If he asks us how we are, he's not sure and if he congratulates us... *sigh* Even I... I'm still wondering how and why you choose me... Your old Hogwarts nightmare...

You were never my nightmare... I had Voldemort taking care of those. You were my... daymare? *chuckle* You still don't understand, honestly?

No... I'm not used to love and happiness... I've been betrayed so many times that I forgot... And to have you... Mine... Legally bonded... It's. Like a dream and I'm afraid I'm going to wake up alone in cold dungeons...

I'll make sure you never wake up alone. That is if you ever get to sleep because of all the things I'm waiting to do to you. *grin*

You can do whatever pleases you... Now if I sleep *on* you, I take it you won't be able to do much... Harry? You could have had *anyone*... Why me? I'm not questioning our bond... I'm just wondering...

*sigh* I don't know if I can explain it anywhere near as properly as I should be able to, but I'll try. Before I was out on the moor I was travelling just trying to find someone - anyone that could make me happy even if it was for a short period of time I just needed something that felt like it was real. Then Dumbledore sent me out on that moor. I can't even begin to describe how angry I was when he did that. I love Remus, don't get me wrong but I just did NOT want to be there. I was writing to you, Ron, Remus, Oliver, and Seamus while I was out there and you were the only one who seemed to notice that I was having a hard time. Ron was so busy with Hermione that it was excusable I guess... but I never even got asked how I was doing. I tried to let on to how absolutely lonely I was but he just kept going on about the Chudley Cannons or something random and unimportant. Remus - well you knew how hard it was for me to talk to him without Sirius noticing. Oliver has become so annoyingly self-absorbed I can't even talk to him anymore. And Seamus - Seamus realized how upset I was but he didn't know how to deal with it so he kind of ended our owls shortly after that. But then there was you. You noticed... and you cared... and you tried to cheer me up - you went to Honeydukes' for me - and for you that's definitely a sign of something and not the hatred that I got from you as a child... Then while I was at your aunts she helped me realize that maybe the reason I was getting better mentally was because I was talking to you and then she helped me realize that you were the one that was making me happy and... Then I realized that you were the only one that ever made me feel *that* happy. And... I fell in love with that and I fell in love with you.

Oh... and I guess I always cared for you, even in the strangest way...

I kind of figured that... I owe my first Quidditch game to you *grin*

Will you stop grinning Harry? ... Merlin! It's been strange to see you change so much... From annoying brat to cherished and loved... *smile*

Don't think it didn't surprise me when I started to love my young, incredibly handsome and deliciously good in bed Potions master from school.

Harry, if you don't stop that, we're going to be in a *very* compromising position when Albus comes back in his office... and you've brought an unexpected happiness into my life, but I don't want to share it with the rest of the world and I want to yell it to the world at the same time! You never made me lose my mind in class and now you're making an idiot of me in bed... and I shall *never* complain, even if "incredibly handsome and deliciously good in bed" sounds too much of a compliment... Yet I guess that if I now see in you as an equal and a gorgeous young man, anything is possible... My sweet Love... Harry? Did you add magic to your marking? I'm feeling... It's strange... As if you were trying to mend my heart and my soul with kindness and love...

Gryffindors have spells too...

I should have paid attention then... but... thank you... I hope I can make you feel how much I appreciate what you're giving me.

You still sound like you think you don't deserve me and we've already gone over this Severus; if you don't deserve me then I don't deserve you. Can't we get beyond that and realize that we both deserve each other and the happiness that the other brings?

*soft chuckle* I love you my impetuous Gryffindor! I will thank every entity that I can think of that you exist; that I am yours and that you are... mine! I know now that we're going to be happy together... I can feel it in my blood... *smile*

Good, because I love you too my wickedly wonderful Slytherin. .... Did you say I never made you lose your mind in class?

Lose my temper... once! But not my mind, my eager Gryffindor!

... Mind if I make you lose it somewhere else? *grin*

Harry!

What!? I found a good way to make it happen too remember when I did this... and this.... at the same time....

Har... Harry! Albus is going to come in here any second now! We'll have our bonding covered by Skeeter if it pleases you, but I don't want to.... Haaa!

Hmm... That seems to work too... And if you keep screaming we won't have to tell anyone! They'll all know!

I'm not the only vocal one... Remember that spot on your thigh? ...

Wh.... NO! Sev... No! Albus is... coming soon!

Ah! Now you see my point!

Do we really have to wait? *grin*

Yes! Because we could tell him what we did, ask him to tell the community for us and we could go back to *our* quarters and have house elves feed us from time to time and we could make love and share every tiny little detail of our lives till real life finally intrudes in our peace...and we have to go back to work... Especially me!

That sounds good... the house elves make excellent chocolate syrup...

Harry! I think I see what you're planning... I hope you don't mind whipped cream...

With cherries?

Um... if you want... *grin*

And a blindfold?

... Why not... Our life is going to be interesting... Did Flitwick tell you how to combine Silencing charms to make them stronger? I have this feeling that we're going to need that... Especially with Albus around...

I don't think Dumbledore would mind our screams of ecstasy... but I don't think he wants the whole school hearing.

*soft chuckle* You're right... I wouldn't put it past him to be a voyeur at some twisted level and I think we'll have to be careful... Except if we plan to tease him... We'll have to beware of the ghosts and the portraits as well...

... You don't have a lot of portraits in your rooms, do you??

Oh... You want to limit our activities to *our* rooms?

Well.... no.... but....

But?...

*giggles* Sev, I love you.

I love you Harry... and don't tell me that you don't have plans about the Astronomy Tower! Remember that as a teacher I can first send students away from the place and then... we could have it for ourselves all night... or till some of my fellows came to claim the spot...

The Astronomy Tower *sigh* How could I have forgotten..... Umm... what about the Slytherin Common Room?

If it's a fantasy of yours I can always order my little snakes in their dorms, threatening to use them in potions if we were to see any of them outside... They obey, usually...

Hmm... That could prove interesting... *giggle*

The Slytherins will adopt you because I'm their Head... Saucy wizard! Stop it with the naughty puns! And don't raise your eyebrows like that you'll end up with nasty wrinkles!... But, we'll have to be careful with the other Houses... Your fellow Gryffindors won't like to see you with the "greasy git"...

Oh don't worry about them. If they don't like it I'm beyond caring. After all, the sorting hat did *almost* put me in Slytherin.

Yes, but it's been decades since a bonded couple took to living together in Hogwarts with only one working here... Um... You're moving in, aren't you?

Of course I am... Why wouldn't I?

... Love... You won't make my... insecurity disappear overnight... I'm... I'm sorry...

Aww Sev it's fine. Don't worry... don't worry. I wouldn't even think of not living with you.

It's going to take time to get used to happiness on a regular basis, but I like that challenge. It shall be the happiest of my entire life... Even if I have to hex Black a little bit... *grin*

No doubt that'll make it happier. *smile* ...Are you sure we have to wait?

I'm not certain our combined powers could obliterate Albus, so we'll have to resort to... stolen kisses... Like that... Till he comes and we can tell him and then we go back to bed... or somewhere else...

Bed sounds good for now... So only stolen kisses, huh? None of this... and this....

Raaaaah! Harry! Will you leave those buttons alone!?... In spite of his adoration for you, I think Dobby was ready to bite you when you asked him to sew them all back on my clothes!... And, besides, I thought you wanted to go on a pilgrimage in *my* classroom? ... Your bench, my chair... So many places to... try and test...

I do want to try all those places.... but there are so many places here! My chair... your chair... Dumbledore's chair... Dumbledore's desk....

I don't mind a dose of... danger... but Dumbledore standing in front of us as we come... I think that would make me impotent... We can come in here when he's at the Ministry... and there are all the Quidditch games I *won't* referee...

*giggles* We can come in here while he's at the ministry.... I plan to do just that, then. *laughing* I'm so sorry... It's just... I can't get enough of you.

That insufferable old plague had better be here soon otherwise I'll leave him a note and will take you to a room in the Three Broomsticks... and stop it with the eyebrows raising, your bad puns and just baits I won't swallow... It's you I'm going to swallow... In *every* possible way...

*breathing hard* Promise?

On my wand... and I do mean the piece of wood Harry *grin*

...That's no fun. *giggle*

Two can play that game... *smile*

Umm... hi Headmaster....

Albus... As you know, the potion is most certainly efficient, but other... important... events occurred in the last hours...

Severus is right - many important events have occurred - I'd say the most important... well to me at least and to him is that we've been bonded.

...and as he is my bonded; I'm asking you for the old privilege: for Harry to stay with me in *our* quarters...

I love him Albus, and I want to live with him - forever. We've already claimed each other as a couple.

And there's nothing you or anyone can say or do now that could separate us, but speaking of others Albus, we would be grateful if you would announce the news to our community as you see fit... That is to say as soon as you've recovered from it yourself, of course... *grin*

We'd really appreciate the help because, well, we're planning on going back to Sev's chambers now and I'm going to do very very naughty things to him. Did you know he has his nipple pierced?

Harry!... You've never heard of information overload? ... Well I guess we could always call Poppy through the Floo, but that would take precious time away from us... And I take it this is *not* what you want... Am I right, Darling Love?

No. *smile* So, Albus, that'd be great if you could do that because we're going to go now...

Ta, Albus!... Come, Love!

Be glad we're going actually because we were about to do it on your desk because we weren't sure when you were going to be back. Bye Albus!!

"and the bonded wizards ran away to their rooms, leaving an old wizard blinking, like a Muggle fluorescent tube dying, on the threshold of his own office..."





 

Finis